1. Denial: This is often a temporary emotional defense mechanism to protect the mind from the shock of a loss. 
2. Anger: A natural emotion that can arise as denial fades, often directed at others, oneself, or a higher power. 
3. Bargaining: An attempt to regain control or postpone the loss by making “deals” or compromises with a higher power or oneself. 
4. Depression: A stage marked by sadness, withdrawal, and loneliness as the reality and significance of the loss begin to sink in. 
5. Acceptance: The final stage, where one begins to accept the reality of the loss and finds a way to move forward with life, though the process can be tough. 
6. Source: Stages of grief – Google Search

The stages of grief often come in waves, one right after the other, but never in order.

Denial

When I first found out that you betrayed me again, after all of the heartache and hurt that you put me through, I felt denial. My brain couldn’t believe that after 14 years, we were going through this again. The shock that crashed my nervous system so many times before rushed through my body.

I took a nap and woke up wondering if it was a nightmare I just had. My mind has been trying to convince me that this may be no big deal, as you say. The pain is so familiar because we’ve been through this so many times before. Maybe I can get through this time although I could never completely heal from the others.

Maybe this time will be the one where he will actually admit that he has a problem and will get the help that he needs.

Am I completely done this time? Is this enough for me to finally get it? I don’t understand how I can love someone who hurts me this much.

Anger

The lies and betrayal are what I can’t deal with. You gaze into my soul and lie like it’s nothing. All of the opportunities that I have given you. I’ve spent so much time trying to prove my love and loyalty to someone who chooses to betray me time after time. You leave me uncovered and unprotected. You put me in harm’s way yet say that you love me.

I’ve given you so much of my life and you have treated me like garbage. I’m worthy of love, whether you want to show me or not. I do not deserve this. Not the gaslighting, making me feel like I was crazy, although I knew in my heart that something was off.

You confide in others about your true feelings for me but give me false hope. Our family is in the living situation that we’re in because I couldn’t deal with your disrespect. It was tearing me up from the inside out.

Bargaining

Was this the last time? Can I believe that you are actually repentant this time? Maybe you still do love me, although you can’t be faithful. Maybe we can still go on with our lives and have a great marriage and work through this.

Or maybe this is a sign that this is just not meant to be. I have never fought for something as much as I have this marriage and love. I know that I’m worth loving and due respect, even if you can’t show them.

So many women go through this, right? Is it true that all men cheat? Yes, many women experience infidelity, but that doesn’t mean that I have to accept this. I refuse to believe that all men cheat. There are people out there will morals and who will be dedicated and faithful to me as I am to them.

Depression

My whole body is achy. I have been sick to my stomach for days. My head and chest have also been hurting. This feeling is so familiar because I’ve been through this before. It’s all connected to the stress that you continue to put me through. I was fine before all of this.

I hate the silence at night. Coming home and knowing that we may not ever experience the caress of each other after a long day.

I never wanted dreamed that our family would be broken. When I married you, I planned on being with you forever. Even through the excruciating times, I still would’ve stayed. You know how many times you have disrespected me, and I’ve forgiven you. Your empty promises to change mean nothing now.

Acceptance

This time, I am not putting partial blame on myself. Your choices reflect what is truly in your heart. I know you love me, but your demons are greater than your love for me. I have to come to terms with that.

The fairytale of us rebuilding the foundation of our marriage has been crashed down by the reality of our situation. I have to now come to terms that years from now, we’ll both probably have separate lives and families.

I have to accept the fact that our family will be forever changed. I pray that our children grow up and find partners who love and cherish them.