Last Sunday, my family and I were in the house getting ready for the week ahead, and I went upstairs to grab something. I came to the top of the steps and went to go down, and all I can remember is my head hitting every step going down. It happened in slow motion.

When I got to the bottom, I could barely process what had happened. I could hear the kids gathering at the top of the steps to look down at me to see what the loud thump was. My husband tried to grab my arm to help, but I didn’t want him to touch me. I couldn’t pinpoint where the pain was all coming from.

A week later, I’m at home with an injured tailbone. One of the things that really worries me is how much I would have to let go of, for the sake of healing. Being forced to be still and not be able to plan my next move has been very humbling.

There’s something about sitting in the silence of my own thoughts and realizing how much control that I don’t have at this moment. As frustrating as it is, it’s helping me to put into perspective how important those things are that I do have control over.

In my anxiety, I want to jump up, go back into the office, and go back to my crazy-busy routine. But, my mom reminded me that if I don’t allow time to fully heal, then I won’t recover like I’m supposed to.

Something that I realized about myself is that I don’t like asking for help. I really had to take a step back and reflect on the reason. Especially because I would go out of my way to help those that need it. I’ve realized that it’s hard for me to be vulnerable with people. For whatever reason, asking for help shows that I’m in need. It’s very hard for me to show that side of me.

This time has also forced me to depend on God and trust His plan for me in this situation. Out of all of the things that I try to do myself, He always comes through and makes a way. He keeps reminding me that coming to Him with my life choices, plans, worried, goals, etc. are not just for when something happens and I’m forced to. He wants all of it all the time.

I’m a planner, and I tend to try to figure out life years in advance. When I can’t figure it out, I worry myself about it. I’m at the point in my life where I can see how much time I’ve spent worrying on things that God took care of. It makes me feel kind of silly.

One thing that’s for sure is life is not promised to anyone. Who knows when it’s my last day on this earth. Sometimes I have to stop and be present. Focus on where I am at this moment.

A few lessons that I’ve learned during this time:

• Don’t get so busy that you forget to spend time with God.
• There are your plans, and there are God’s. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path (Proverbs 3:5-6) .
• Stop wasting so much time worrying about things you can’t control.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
• Vulnerability is not a weakness.
• Focus on the things that are in your control, and pray for the things that aren’t.
• Sometimes it takes something drastic happening for you to take a step back and put things into perspective.
• Don’t put anything or anyone over your well-being.