“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious and you get to decide how you use them. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” —Anna Taylor, writer

As the seasons are changing and the flowers are starting to bloom, I can’t help but reflect on where I was this time last year.

I was at a job that was so mentally and physically stressful that my health was being affected. I was dealing with all types of disrespect and unappreciation, and I didn’t feel like I had many other choices. I felt like I was in between a rock and a hard place.

This was my first full-time job since being a stay-at-home mother 12 years ago. Before this, I was working part-time and trying to expand my small business. It meant more to me than a position. It was a staple of independence. It would allow my girls to go to dance classes, and let my sons explore their talents. I could get some things that I wanted and needed.

Now that I am at a new job and not dealing with half of what I was dealing with at the other place, along with making more money, I just wish I knew that I didn’t have to deal with that. Yes, the fears of not being able to recover from the financial burden of not staying, played a huge part in it. The empty promises of promotion and just feeling like I did not have many other options also kept me from leaving.

It wasn’t until I knew for sure that I had another job that I put my two weeks’ notice in. Just the week before, one of my superiors had harassed me for the second time since my 8th months of being there. After hearing the pitiful excuses that the COO made for his actions, I had the peace that I needed to just quit that day.

When my shift was over, I handed my keys to the office manager, and told her that I wasn’t coming back. I’d never done anything like that before. I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my body. I’m the type of person to follow protocol and have followed the “never burn your bridges” rule since I’ve been in the work force. The COO called me as soon as I got into my car. I knew what it was about and there was nothing that he could say that could make the situation any better, so I let it ring.

Some things that I learned about myself is that I had a fear of setting boundaries and letting people down. I liked to be depended on for the things that I was great at. I was dependable and I was needed. I also didn’t know my rights, as far as corporately. I wasn’t sure what to do when I was mistreated. I also lacked the confidence in myself and my worth to actually believed that I could get something better.

I had to ask myself: How much is too much? Is this job worth all of what I had to deal with? If someone that I loved was going through this, how would I feel about it?

The answer to all of them was this is all too much, no it wasn’t worth it, and if someone that I loved was going through it, I would’ve told them to quit! I needed to have the same energy about myself. Be my own advocate for once.

Leaving that day was one of the best things that I could have done for myself. What I did next…without saying too much, they didn’t get away with the harassment.

“Stop asking why they keep doing it and start asking why you keep allowing it.”- Unknown

Now, almost a year later, I’ve learned that I did have choices. They may have been hard to see at the time, but they were there. I didn’t have to be in a place that was so stressful that I was actually having adverse reactions to my health. Those things that were done to me were illegal and had repercussions if I handled the situation the right way.

I understand, now that God allows us to go through some situations for a reason. If I didn’t go through what I did, then I wouldn’t be as grateful that I am today that I am in a better situation. I also am becoming quite comfortable at setting boundaries in my work, and personal life. I have grown in knowledge and experience. I have also grown spiritually.

I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I’m such work in progress!