Why does God allow bad things to happen to His children?

As a little girl, I had a close relationship with God. I considered Him my friend and sang to Him often. I clung to the things that I learned about Him, and even at my young age, I knew how much He loved me.

Growing up in the church, I associated the whole idea with Him. Church was a place that God lived in and everyone who went there were “good.” This whole process of thinking was shaken up when I started to see things that were going on and didn’t seem to be right.

The pastor of my church, when I was five years old, ended up being my stepfather a few years later. He went from being a saint in my eyes to someone who physically and mentally abused me. That alone was confusing to me.

The whole idea of church being a safe haven became contradicting to the things that I saw and experienced. People having affairs with other people’s spouses, and families being torn apart seemed like it should’ve been a theme for a movie, let alone church.

Before the abuse started, Pastor, what I called him, was so loving, sensitive, and affectionate. Something I needed at the time of my parents’ divorce. He gave me the comfort that I needed that I wasn’t getting from my own father.

What once made me feel so safe and secure made me feel extremely vulnerable. It made me question my whole reality. I wondered why this “man of God” was doing this to me, and why God was letting him. I just couldn’t understand.

After a while, a slow simmering resentment started to form in my heart. At the same time, I didn’t believe that I could be angry at God for what is happening to. I never felt like I had the right to be. One thing that I would tell myself was I would never step foot in a church again once I became an adult.

Something that I wrestled with all the way to adulthood is why God allowed those things to happen to me. How could He love me more than anyone on this earth, and allow me to go through so much pain and disappointment?

The unfulfillment of these questions caused me to turn away from God for much of my teenage and early adulthood. It wasn’t until my first few years of being a young, single mom, that I was forced to call out to Him for help, out of desperation.

God showed up right on time. That began the long journey of forgiveness and healing. One thing that God began to show me was His grace, and it had been in my life throughout all of those difficult things that I had gone through in the previous years.

Through all of the struggling that we went through with my mom’s sickness, and having to move around a lot, God showed us grace. He protected us from situations that could’ve been worse. In those situations that seemed unfixable, He always showed up.

Something that I have learned in this process is the world that God created was never meant to be filled with so much pain and suffering. He created it for good, and it got all messed up when Satan got involved, and man couldn’t just simply obey God.

Now, there is so much filth that we have to put up on his earth until God creates a new one. One thing that God does promise in the midst of it, is He will be right with us through all of it. “Be strong and courageous,” he says, “Do not be terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deut.31:6).”

Something that also comforts me is God does not let people get away with doing wrong to others. About nine years ago, I found out that my stepfather died, and I was so upset because I truly believed that he got away with all of those things that caused so much damage to my life.

God reminded me that He did not forget. “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord, I will repay (Romans 12:19.)“. What I have to do is trust that God is faithful and keeps His promises like He has done so many times before. It’s not easy to do when I didn’t see justice happen on my behalf.

Something that I have learned through all of this, as I have continued to go through things that were beyond my control, is that we are going to face some kind of suffering on this earth. There are things that I am still dealing with that make me want to ask God, why me?

I also see that everything that I am going through is shaping me into the person that God wants me to be. I have a special purpose, like everyone else on this earth, and everything that I’ve been through is a piece of the bigger picture that I probably won’t completely understand. It’s all a part of my story that is still being written.

Things that I’ve learned:

• Church is a mere building for wounded souls. Just because people go to church does not mean that they are “good” people.
• No one should be put on a pedestal. Not even a pastor.
• Although God allowed some bad things to happen, He has protected me from worse situations
• When God doesn’t automatically deliver me from some circumstances, He is still there with me.

“These things I have spoken to you, that you may have peace. There will be tribulation in the world: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

(John 16:33)